Cave of Betrayal
“Lord, may my husband be quick to agree with You in his sin.”
The words were not my own, but those of a “pray for your husband guide” that I had been following. The timing of this prayer was not a coincidence. Just a couple of hours after that sentence left my lips, I found myself fully knowing the true weight and the Divine direction behind those words.
It was a bright and sunny morning. As usual, I was up early to get ready for the normal day ahead of me day. After spending time in the Word and prayer, I began preparing my breakfast in the kitchen.
At the time I didn’t know it, but later on I would still remember every detail of that typical morning. The bright and sunny morning soon turned dark and disorienting. By the end of the day, I found myself in a deep, dark cave of betrayal that boded a long and rough road out.
Surrounded by SWAT
As I stood in the kitchen that morning, a knock on the window interrupted my thoughts. The face of a man looked at me through the slatted blinds. Startled, I moved towards the front door. The sight that greeted me was one straight out of a movie, as a SWAT team had surrounded our house. Questions instantly swirled in my head, my heart pounding. WHAT was going on? Why is Homeland Security at my door?
The SWAT team moved into the house and proceeded to arrest my husband. Over the course of the next few hours, I began to put some pieces together, but it was a couple of weeks until I received the full story.
I stood in the driveway and watched as the officers put my husband, hands tied behind his back, into a car. He looked at me and said “I am being arrested.” All I could think to say was “I see that.”
As they drove off, I went back into the house to find that the officers had gone through pretty much every drawer and closet. Our possessions were in a complete upheaval…chaos…turned upside down…confusion. And I was alone.
After spending two weeks in jail, my husband came home and I learned of the painful truth. That I had been deeply betrayed by my husband. The worst betrayal someone can experience, he had an affair with another woman. His poor choices were going to cost our family almost everything. And the ripple effect of this betrayal extended to our families, our friends and our church family.
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Lost in the Cave
The day of the arrest and the weeks that followed, I felt like I was having an “out of body experience.” I was trapped in deep pain, anger, and confusion. I didn’t know what was true anymore. Everything had been turned upside down. It was like something had died…someone had died.
Everything that I thought to be true was suddenly a lie. Looking at past photos were now painful as I questioned what was really going on behind that happy family facade. What was he really thinking then? I found myself becoming cynical, and looking at every happy family around me suspicious of what that man was REALLY doing.
I felt as if there was no one I could talk to about this betrayal, no one who would truly understand. These thoughts often left me feeling as if I was alone, stuck in that cave of betrayal, with absolutely no way out.
Related Post: Guest Blogger Becky: Quarantine & Betrayal
Brave Rescue
A couple of years back, a group of kids in Thailand were trapped in a cave. A day that started out as an adventure had quickly turned to disaster. While exploring the caves after a soccer practice, heavy rains came and blocked their way out. Friends and family soon realized they were missing and the search began.
While signs of their whereabouts were left at the entrance to the caves, their exact location proved to be very difficult to find. A week after their disappearance, they were finally located and found alive.
The whole world watched as attempts were made at their rescue. It was an extensive effort lasting weeks, with various agencies involved. They all had ideas on how to rescue the children, but the ones who were ultimately successful were the experienced cave divers who had been in similar circumstances and knew how to successfully get out.
The Road Home
While I was lost in my own cave of betrayal, a light began to shine in the darkness when I clung to Jesus. Through God’s Word and loving support from other betrayed women, He guided me out of that dim and lonely place. Now, standing outside of the cave and looking back, I realized that I was never truly alone.
As a facilitator with Hope After Betrayal, I view my work as being like one of the cave rescuers. I have been in that dark cave of isolation and betrayal, and I now know the way out into the light. The path to healing begins with turning to Jesus. He is the Light. Jesus Himself says in John 8:12, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (ESV). He is the Light that can begin to guide you out of that darkness. And He also sends His people to walk alongside you in that journey.
Trusting the Rescue
When I dive back in to that proverbial cave to help care for the women in pain, I have to lay hold of courage and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Like the kids in Thailand who were trapped, so many women who have been betrayed are hard to find. They have been confined in their own caves of isolation, fear, discouragement, and confusion, and have struggled to find a way out on their own. By providing support and love grounded in God’s Word, we lead these women to true hope and healing in Jesus Christ.
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In order to be rescued from the cave, the kids had to be willing to trust the divers that were sent to rescue them. They also had to take a risk and dive into that uncertain water. The kids could have stayed trapped, hoping for a better or easier solution. Rather, they chose to trust the support that had been sent to them.
If you have found yourself stuck in this cave, isolated and alone due to the trauma of betrayal in your marriage, please know that you do not have to remain there. There is strength in joining hands with those who have found the light before you. As Christ leads, the women and facilitators of Hope After Betrayal are here to help guide you out.
We have been there in that painful place. We know the caves and we know the One who rescues. Grab our hands, commit to hang on….and let’s walk together towards freedom and healing!
Guest Blog written by Becky Friberg
Check out our other Guest Blogger: Stefanie Marek
If you have been cheated on, or are dealing with the feelings of betrayal, our staff and facilitators are here to walk with you through it. Message us today at [email protected] or join a Healing Hope Group.
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