My newest Son-in-love is from the Netherlands, and I love that he brings a broader perspective to our family discussions. He said something that made me think. He was talking about his plans and said matter-of-factly that he was choosing his suffering. At first, I was confused, but then he explained, that this broken world offers a full buffet of suffering, and we decide what we will put on our plate with every decision we make. If he chooses to work hard, that is suffering. If he chooses not to work hard there will be another kind of suffering.
I have written about the beauty that comes from pain when we embrace it as from the Lord. Because if we will lean into it, He can refine us. But this idea of choosing our suffering grabbed me. Of course, it makes sense since so much of the pain we experience comes from our deep desire to avoid it. Addictions, compulsions, and most conflict gets worse when it is denied, justified, or just plain ignored. Who among us wants to touch a hot stove?
What if there were multiple stoves and, based on what we want to cook, we could choose the best one for the job? I think life is like that. I can choose the crock pot, with less chance of a bad burn, but it will take longer for my food to cook. I can choose the broiler method, and food will cook fast, but I still have a scar from hitting the rack when I was broiling. I could also choose to go out, but this hits my budget harder. Maybe it’s a silly example, but there is no way to avoid suffering or food forever, right?
Suffering can be thrust upon us, but we still move through it by our choices. This is not big news, but this concept that we can choose our suffering is—I believe—a testament to the Love of God and His gift of free will. In choosing, we can heal or we can medicate. We can reach out for help or we can become a victim.
I want to be found reacting and responding all the while listening to the Lord. When I stop blaming, excusing, or avoiding, real growth can happen and my joy returns much more quickly. It may feel like I need to figure everything out, or get ahead of the next hurt, but I really need to choose to lean into the One who understands suffering like no other by replacing worry with prayer . As I walk through life choosing my path of least pain, I will keep my focus on the Creator and my hand in His to navigate, mitigate, and use the reality of suffering for my good and His glory.
